MOVIE REVIEW: Infinite geek tears for AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR!!

 

Jay’s 30-Second Review (Spoiler Free!)

Its BIG, It’s Bold, It’s Loud and Colorful! An action-packed special effects extravaganza along with enough laughs and emotional impact to fill every second of 2 and 1/2 hours – Avengers: Infinity War is what fanboys and girls LIVE for! A LOT has happened since Iron Man debuted 10 years ago (and 18 movies).

Every hero, every origin story, every cross reference, every battle, every box office smashing success (Black Panther, anyone?), and all those defining Post Credit scenes came together in this ridiculously massive movie! Marvel wins on every level imaginable – Setting and breaking their own records!

Best of all, an 8ft tall CGI Thanos looked realistic enough not to suck. Props to Josh Brolin’s superb acting, bringing a semblance of humanity to a cosmic tyrant. If you haven’t seen this yet you are failing as a human lol. There are no excuses! Go see this ASAP.

Rating:

 

Part 2 Predictions

#1 – Cosmic Being cameos (Galactus, Surfer, Stranger, Watcher, Adam Warlock, The Grand Tribunal!??)

#2 – Introducing Captain Marvel AND Mar-Vell! And possibly Nova?

#3 – Forming the Infinity Watch,  (Adam Warlock, Gamora, Pip, Moondragon, Drax) or some new lineup, so this can Never…EVER…evereverevereverever…happen again!

#4 – Resetting the MCU timeline to go into Phase 4!

#5 – Teasing a Kree/Skrull war

 

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Enter: AGGRETSUKO!

I have found my new guilty pleasure… and it is a cute little red panda.

Whatever buzz you are hearing is true! Netflix quietly dropped this Japanese import and it is f*ckin, BRILLIANTNever in my life did the words ‘red panda’ and ‘death metal’ pop up in the same thought.

Enter: Aggretsuko! 

How to describe it?? Aggretsuko is like…Hello Kitty on steroids. I clicked on it out of curiosity and damn near spit out my drink a few minutes into it! Was I drunk? Was I high? NO. I was merely streaming it at work during lunch. And It is possibly the funniest shit currently on Netflix.

The premise is simple – a young professional (Retsuko) deals with all the typical ‘I hate my job’ crap: an overbearing boss, gossipy coworkers, butt-kissers and brown-nosers, etc… she takes out her frustrations in the form of death metal karaoke. As crazy as that sounds, it all makes sense once you watch it.

On its face it looks like a bunch of cutes-y forest creatures (panda, bunnies, gazelles) running around at work, BUT…give it a few minutes and you’ll see the magic. It brilliantly satires all the trappings of modern life with edgy wit. Plus, karaoke.

Lots of laugh out loud moments, great cultural references, and a surprising amount of heart -Aggretsuko will sneak up on you and make you an instant fan. I wasn’t expecting ANYTHING and ended up binging the entire series in one afternoon! Trust me yo, there is nothing else like it.

“Death metal forever!” 

 -Jay

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MOVIE REVIEW: Make some noise for ‘A Quiet Place’!

“Shhh…be vewy, vewy quiet! We’re hunting HUMANS!”

Apparently there is a direct line to success for comedy-turned-horror fame. Like Jordan Peele before him (Key and Peele), John Kracinski (Jim Halpert from The Office) hits a home run with his horror debut!

A QUIET PLACE

30-SECOND REVIEW:

Well paced and incredibly well-acted, A Quiet Place is a brilliant take on horror. First time director John Krasinski focuses on what REALLY scares us. Remove all the hype, all the action, all the gunfire, loud explosions and jump scares, and what’s left is an intelligent look at a very real family dynamic trying to survive against impossible odds. Being a parent was never this terrifying!

 

FULL REVIEW:

A Quiet Place (AQP) is a parent’s worse nightmare. A truly terrifying thriller from start to finish – AQP deals as much with the stresses of parenting as it does with battling monsters. You think its tough being a parent? HA! Keeping your children safe takes on a whole new meaning.

AQP is about a family (The Abbots) who have to survive in TOTAL SILENCE or else be hunted down by mysterious creatures attracted to sound. If that weren’t bad enough, one of the kids is deaf. And the wife is pregnant. :-/

 

The movie starts  on Day 89 – 3 months after an unknown incident left the world devoid of life. The Abbots are scavenging through an empty landscape, tiptoeing barefoot, avoiding leaves, sticks, candy wrappers… anything that will make noise.

Everything seems routine, until a very unfortunate accident happens…And we quickly realize just how horrifying the threat is. And that is just the first 5 minutes :-/

From there, AQP takes us into the lives of this one family fighting for survival in a world of complete silence! 

Through a quick basement montage we learn a few things:  our government is nonexistent, our military is decimated, the destruction happened quickly and decisively. As Kacinski describe it, the carnage was “Like wolves in a daycare, we never stood a chance.”

During the very few ‘quiet’ moments we see newspaper headlines:

‘ANGELS OF DEATH’ 

IT IS SOUND!

GET UNDERGROUND!

INDESTRUCTIBLE.

(Apparently the newspaper presses ran just long enough to warn humanity)

Dad Abbott keeps a dry erase board with notes written like ‘SILENCE = SURVIVAL” and  ‘WEAKNESSES?’, and ‘3 CONFIRMED IN AREA’ – which tells us that it only takes THREE of these creatures to wipe out an entire region.

These monsters are some of the most terrifying in movie history.  

Part ‘Alien’ xenomorph, part ‘Starship Troopers‘ bugs,  and part the robot hunting-dogs from Black Mirror’s ‘Metalhead’ episode (phenomenal, btw!) – These creatures are vicious, lightning fast killers with a mean streak! And apparently indestructible!

At the SLIGHTEST sound they spring into action, running around like mutant hounds, capable anything and everything to shreds! If that weren’t enough, they are completely surrounded by an impenetrable bony exoskeleton armor, with a faceless head comprised mostly rows of countless razor-sharp teeth.

These are some truly horrific looking mofos that resemble NOTHING we’ve ever seen. Like something from the worst Lovecraftian nightmare.

 Equally disturbing, the movie doesn’t explain WHAT these things are, WHERE they came from, or WHY they are here. All we know is that the slightest sound trigger them. They hunt voraciously and kill everything in sight! Even the smallest squeaking rodent gets pulverized into a blood splotch faster than you can blink!

AQP is pitch-perfect and well paced. The acting is phenomenal! 90% of this movie is SILENT. Yes, most of the acting is done through American Sign Language with subtitles. But DO not let that deter you. The brilliance is in the acting, and yes Emily Blunt is absolutely FANTASTIC. She is part of two key scenes which are Oscar-worthy, IMO.

For horror fans this is MUST-SEE. There are rumors that this movie was initially part of the expanded Cloverfield Universe before Kracinski rewrote the draft! Maybe, maybe not? JJ Abrams should be so lucky. This movie is superior to all Cloverfield entries.

Forget about Cloverfield and welcome the Quietverse 🙂

RATING:

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Get ready for the big change!

this was a loooooooong time coming. Jay and Friday are going Viral!!!! Big things coming in the new year. 2018 will be the year we go to the next level. That’s right! As if reading this infotainment blog wasn’t enough, we’re adding a You Tube channel so you can hear us as well. We’re currently working out all of the kinks, and constructing the things to make our blogosphere the COMPLETE package for your enjoyment. We here at 2CBG’s are going to be bringing you all of the things you want more of this upcoming year. Get ready, baby!!! The next level is here!!! Follow us on You Tube @ Jay & Friday.
 
Friday, re-learning how to use my laptop!

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